AF Gushes Like a Faucet on Full Blast

April 1, 2010 On My Mind 2

So, do you know what it feels like to not have your period for 79 days and then, just when you’ve lost all hope, AF comes gushing out like there’s no tomorrow? Well then maybe you’d be in my shoes right about now.

So my last real post talked about my body was acting up and that I hadn’t gotten my period since January. I was feeling all out a of sorts and really hating myself for not getting off The Patch sooner. As the days went by, I just couldn’t help thinking about all the possible reasons why my cycles continued to act up like this. Is it just that my body is taking an unusually long time to set itself straight after going off The Patch? Most doctors would agree with that. Could it be that I was stressed from school and being homesick, which added to the fact that my cycles were so screwed? That could be a contributing factor, arguably. Or, could it be, like a one-in-a-million, smidgin of a chance that I might be PREGNANT?!?!? In all truth, it was highly unlikely. But after going so long without AF, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to that forsaken place and, dare I say it, hope that might be the case. I mean I’ve heard stories of women who have had their period come once right before they found out they were pregnant, it even happened to a friend of mine. Well my husband and I were trying to conceive constantly while I was home and my period came right after I left and then I never saw or heard from it again. Even after logically thinking it through and beating myself over the head for even considering that could be the reason, I found my thoughts occasionally drifting to that idea. The last few days was when my mind started to really consider the idea and say that “it could be possible, nothing’s impossible”. I even shamefully had fleeting images of that pregnancy test I had hidden in the back of my drawer because I couldn’t stand to look at it; maybe thinking that it wouldn’t hurt to try. It was then I realized, the hope was there…

And then like clockwork, Mother Nature decided to kick me in the ovaries, once again, for even fathoming the idea of being pregnant. I could hear her saying “You wanna be pregnant? Well, take THAT!”…and Aunt Flo rushed through me yesterday morning like someone just turned on the faucet in my Bajingo. Let me tell you, I felt a sea of emotions and a million thoughts went through my head as I tended to myself. I was happy that my body finally showed me some sign that it was at least functional, if not back to normal. I was sad that, once again, my hope was crushed. And I was angry because I was at school, so I had to rush home like the wind and clean up the mess that Mother Nature left for me. What a way to bring in April…

So yes, AF came and soon it shall go, at least I hope…wait, let me not hope. Let’s just say it’ll do its thing and life will go on. I can finally get this issue out of my head and focus on more important matters like the fact that April is here. April means it’s almost the end of an era. I’m almost done with my Basic Sciences part of my medical school career, which is a great achievement to have made it this far. I still have so much left though, but I’m looking forward to walking those hospital halls and helping patients and feeling like a REAL doctor. April also means that in 24 days I will be reunited with my husband and daughter, who will fly down to Miami to stay with me for a month and a half. We will take the week off and go to Disney World and enjoy being a family. Just the thought of that makes me smile and helps me push on through the day. I have so much to do, school-wise, until then that the next few weeks will fly by and I couldn’t be happier, well I could, but we can’t ask for too much now can we?

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2 Responses to “AF Gushes Like a Faucet on Full Blast”

  1. Katie

    I am so sorry about AF's arrival. She's a week late for me and, though I don't like getting my hopes up, it's hard not to keep asking, "Could it be possible?"

    Sending you lots of (((hugs))). I hope you have a great vacation with your family!

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