Well the weekend was a total bust, didn’t do anything special and got into this big argument with The Hubbi. The only highlight of the weekend was that my fabulous mother gave me some money to shopping, which like NEVER happens, so I was happy to go and do that. I bought some nice clothes from Aeropostale (love them) & some clothes from Old Navy. Maybe I should do a “Haul” post later on to show off the goods, haha.
So from my previous post you might have guessed that The Hubbi went out with “The Boys” on Saturday night. I wasn’t too happy about that, but I chalked it up to my hormones and this nagging urge that I don’t like to be alone nowadays, but I had my adorable Baby Girl with me keeping me company, until she fell asleep that is. After falling asleep and having not-so-good dreams, The Hubbi comes strolling in at 6am, totally waking me up, saying he went to the Casino. Of course he reeked of alcohol and cigarettes and was trying to rinse it off in the sink, but I could smell him a mile away and made him take a shower or he would have to sleep on the couch. I then found out that he gambled, of course, and lost some money, but he had to stay there until he won it back, which he eventually did, which is why he stayed out until 6am. I say, why gamble at all then? It’s not like we have extra money lying around for you to gamble away! We only recently bought a new car and there’s another baby on the way! He is the only one working right now since I’m in school so we’re basically living paycheck to paycheck, which totally sucks! Anyways, he also told me that he smoked, which totally pissed me off because he quit years ago after he met me and it’s not like I made him quit, but I’m glad that he did because he’s not the healthiest of guys and that just made it worse, not to mention you shouldn’t be smoking when you have kids anyways. So, I told him I was upset about all that, also, that he woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep for like another 2 hours, thank heavens it was Sunday the next day and we actually could sleep in, but it’s not like he had any energy to fight so the guy just fell asleep. In the morning he apologized for staying out late, and smoking, etc. Telling me all the things he knew I wanted to hear, but I’ve heard it all before and yet he always does the same thing over and over again, so really, what’s the point in saying “sorry”? I hate that word, people just throw it around so frivolously like the words “I love you” that it just loses all meaning.
Anyways, we barely spoke to each other all day Sunday and even at night he didn’t bother to bring up the topic and try to work things out with me. All he, or any guy cares about on Sunday is Football. I might as well be invisible to him on Sundays & Mondays. Which means tonight I won’t be getting any attention from him either. So I laid in bed, crying myself to sleep while he happily enjoyed the game. Honestly, I just wanted to turn around and tell him this “You know you don’t even try to make me feel better anymore, you just wait it out until I get over it and start showing you affection and then you think everything is okay and go about your merry way. You don’t bother to force me to talk about the situation and try to work it out so we can get past it.” He is such a passive aggressive person that it drives me insane sometimes.
Sigh, I could go on and on about our troubles, albeit, I love the man and we have a content marriage, but it’s not without it’s problems. I could hold it up to the fact that we’ve been married for 3 years and I’ve been abroad studying for 2+ years. We haven’t gotten used to living together and adjusting to it just being us, as a family. I don’t know…we’re a work in progress I suppose.
Anyways, to add to my misery, only ONE person has RSVP’ed to Baby Girl’s birthday party and I am highly upset. Not that no one is going, although that would break my heart to see her sad that her friends didn’t show up, but that people don’t have to courtesy to tell me YES or NO. We are giving them until Friday to respond, but at this point I don’t know if any of them will. I’m sure they’ve read the invitations and The Hubbi said that maybe people don’t know their schedules for that day yet, which is understandable, but a 2 minute call to say “we might show up” wouldn’t hurt. Not even her teacher has said anything yet! We’re supposed to go to this Reading Night the school is hosting tonight so maybe we’ll see some parents there and hopefully get some answers because this is driving me crazy!
And to top it all off, her Godmother just texted me and told me that she will be going to NYC that weekend to celebrate another friend’s birthday so she won’t make it to the party. Also, another one of my best friends is that girl’s friend too, so she most likely is going, so there’s another lost cause. I don’t know whether to be mad or to let it slide. I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it anyways, people do what they want to do. It’s just, I wanted this birthday to be special for Baby Girl because it was the last one before her sister will be born. She’s been the only child for so long, I just want her to know how special she is to everyone, but I suppose she’s only THAT special to me.
But, I can’t even think about all this right now because I have a very important test coming up in 2 weeks that I need to study for, which is making me extra nervous and anxious. Basically, I have to separate myself from the family for the next 2 weeks so I can concentrate and make sure I pass this exam this time, so you know how much fun that will be! Ugh, I feel very frustrated and stressed right now and I don’t see it getting any better.