I Almost Lost It Today

March 28, 2012 BG2, Parenting 20

BG2 is not your average baby when it comes to the bottle. For some reason, she just isn’t a fan. Eventually we resorted to only feeding her a bottle when she naps and sleeps at night, which averages out to 3-4 bottles (18-24 oz) a day. It was tough, but we managed.

Then came time to make the BIG SWITCH to cow’s milk. And we thought she wasn’t a fan of formula?!?! Hah, boy were we sadly mistaken.

Ever since we switched it’s been like World War III each time we try to feed her. While she’s sleeping. While either of us are half asleep and exhausted from the day. Seriously?!?!

This girl will toss and turn, cry and moan, spit up and flail all while we’re breaking a sweat just trying to keep the girl well nourished. And it’s not like she’s full or anything because she would go all night or over 8 hours without anything if she tried to. At one year old!

It’s extremely frustrating and highly aggravating, to say the least. Usually, after trying and failing to feed her for the 50th time in a row I hurriedly, but carefully, toss her back on the bed next to me, put the bottle down (when really I want to throw it at the wall), glare at that adorable, yet loathsome baby (when I really want to scream into my pillow or punch a good punching bag), and try to calm myself down before I try again.

It’s only been 3 weeks, yet it feels like 3 months of this.

But today was a low day for me. Well, this week rather. Not only is AF visiting this week (which for some reason causes me extreme fatigue ever since she made her BIG comeback after BG2 was born, thank you very much), the Hubbi has been/is away in Canada, and BG1 is suffering bouts of stomachaches due to her long-term issues with constipation, I have to deal with BG2’s feeding problem and my constant worry that she’s not getting enough vitamins and nutrients. Because of AF, I neglected to pay attention to my 5AM alarm to give the baby her bottle and woke up at 7:30AM crazed and ashamed. I then hurriedly tried to feed her, which failed miserably because she started waking up (she usually gets up around 8AM) and you definitely can’t give her a bottle when she’s awake.

Nevertheless, I kept trying and trying to give her that bottle in between getting myself ready for work and her ready for the babysitter. Before leaving I managed to get her to drink about half the bottle, but I knew she could drink more so I took it along with us, hoping to feed her the rest before I dropped her off. Thats when it all went wrong.

Try as I might, no amount of play or appeal works on this baby when it comes to the bottle.

She turned her head. Batted it away with her hands.

I kept trying, persuading her to no avail. Milk dripping down her chin. Then I tried to just let her drink the milk like a cup. Boy, was that a mistake. Milk. Everywhere.

She was crying. I was screaming. Milk was wasted. The car was a mess.

We were both done.

She looked at me with those big eyes, tears running down her cheeks. I looked at her, about ready to break down myself, so many crazy bad thoughts going through my head. And then I felt nothing but shame, guilt, desperation, anger (at myself), and so many more emotions.

I almost lost it today.

Quickly, I regained my composure, looked into the sun to keep myself from breaking down, and once I was ready, lovingly soothed and reassured my baby that it was all okay, that I still loved her, I could still smile and laugh with her. She seemed okay with it, you know how quickly babies forget. I, on the other hand, probably won’t ever forget.

I almost lost it today.

Never Miss a Post from Me!
Enter your email address and click on the Get Instant Access button.
We respect your privacy

You Might Also Like:

20 Responses to “I Almost Lost It Today”

    • Vivian

      Haha, thanks. Yea, I know (hope) she’ll turn out okay, just worried about the vitamins and such. Idk why kids have to be so difficult lol.

  1. Casey

    I’m not sure of your daughter’s background or any possible medical issues, but I have 4 kids who I experienced various feeding issues with &/or worried about lack of weight gain. But if she’s a year old & is on a consistent schedule most kids her age need to sleep 11-12 hours at bedtime as well as napping in the day so some of her fighting you could very well be because she is not wanting to wake up enough to drink it. I know that with my twins when they started fighting me in the middle of the night like that we gave up the night feedings & all of our lives improved having uninterrupted sleep & it was one less feeding to battle them over. We fed them lots of oatmeal mixed with fruits/veggies in order for them to take in most of their formula or milk that route since they never bottlefed well. Have you tried various sippy cups to see if she’ll transition to milk that way? I always found it to be a hard transition for all of my kids, but eventually it did happen! Straw cups were what they all transitioned to first. Good luck!

    • Vivian

      Thanks! Yea lately we’ve backed off on the night feedings and tried a few techniques that I’ll be blogging about soon. Things are looking a lot better. She does like sippy cups & straws so I’ll def try those during the day.

  2. Ashley {at} My Front Porch Swing

    It can be so frustrating! We had issues transitioning our daughter to milk. We did it via sippy cup, but her stomach didn’t handle it well at a year old. Eventually, we backed off and tried again a few months later, and she was much better with it. I hope you find something that works!
    Ashley {at} My Front Porch Swing recently posted…Taking a break from “busy”My Profile

    • Vivian

      I’ve heard others trying a sippy cup and she does seem to like that better. I just dunno how it’ll work at night though when she’s half asleep. Thanks for the encouragement & for stopping by!

    • Vivian

      You’re telling me?!?! Thanks for being here. Some people just don’t understand and think its a piece of cake. Sigh…

    • Vivian

      Yes! I was totally not having a good day and so glad it’s behind me now. Thanks for stopping by Shell!

  3. Amanda

    When we switched our kids over from formula/breastmilk to cow’s milk we offered them cow’s milk with formula. We started with 1/4 cows mik and 3/4 formula, then once a week out increase the cow’s milk by 1/4 and decrease the formual by the same amount. I found it was easier on their tummies since the switch was not loved instantly.
    Amanda recently posted…BFFsMy Profile

    • Vivian

      I’ve heard people mixing it to ease the transition, we’re trying all the options now and seeing what she likes. Thanks for the tips & for stopping by!

  4. Lindsey

    I think we’ve all had those days. Today the bambino refused to nap, and I was about to sell him to the circus.

    Is it possible your baby is allergic to milk? My son did the same things, and it turned out that he had a severe milk allergy.
    Lindsey recently posted…Wordless Wednesday – GardeningMy Profile

    • Vivian

      Hahaha, oh I’ve had those nights where BG2 wouldn’t sleep & I was seriously gonna lose it. I don’t think she’s allergic bc there’s no reaction besides the fights. She poops & pees just fine and no other signs haha. Hoping things get better. Thanks for stopping by!

    • Vivian

      Yes, I hate those days/times when things just keep piling on and I’m about to break. That day was not a fun for me, I’ll tell you that, lol. Thanks for your encouragement & for stopping by!

    • Vivian

      Yes, she does have reflux (threw up all of her formula at the beginning) and it sucks because she’s a hungry baby and always wants to eat, but gags easily. Hoping this ease up for us soon. Thanks for stopping by!

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge