I was talking to my mother recently about things I can’t even remember and we stumbled across the fact that I literally can’t remember the last time I cried.
I’ve never been a sensitive person, often choosing to hold it all in or never even having the urge to cry, even while growing up. That’s not to say I’ve never cried before in my life, but when I was consciously able to control it, even when I’m sad, I just don’t cry.
My friends and family always joke with me about how “I’m dead inside” and I even joke about it during those sentimental, touchy-feely moments where normal people would cry or tear up and go “oh, tear…”, LOL. Honestly, sometimes it’s not that I don’t want to cry, it’s just that I don’t.
I always find it funny how my mother, sister, even my oldest daughter can cry on command, when the sad, obviously, but also when they watch a movie that’s sad, or when it’s a happy occasion like a wedding. Me?! I feel the emotion and empathize, of course, but the tears never come. I’m just not that sensitive. And really, I don’t want to be. Personally, I feel so weak if I cry and I always hated those women who cry thinking they’ll get whatever they want and have people feel sorry for them. Consciously, I don’t like to show my emotions that much, except for anger (but that’s a topic for another day) and subconsciously I’ve never been much of a crier.
I don’t whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. My friend, who is pretty tough and rough around the edges herself even told me that she has a big cry-fest like every year, kind of just to let everything out and she always feels so much better afterwards?! I was shocked because I thought she was like me, a person who rarely ever cries. I do feel like I have a lot of emotions and thoughts pent up sometimes and often wonder if a crying would help, but alas, I really can’t make myself cry (short of getting some onions up under my nose or something). Even when I’m in pain I’m not one to cry it out, opting to hold it in and breathe through the pain (like I did delivering both my kids).
What about you? Do the slightest things set you off in tears or is anyone like me and doesn’t shed a tear at all?