Is It Wrong That I Don’t Cry?!

December 4, 2012 On My Mind 16

I was talking to my mother recently about things I can’t even remember and we stumbled across the fact that I literally can’t remember the last time I cried.

I’ve never been a sensitive person, often choosing to hold it all in or never even having the urge to cry, even while growing up. That’s not to say I’ve never cried before in my life, but when I was consciously able to control it, even when I’m sad, I just don’t cry.

My friends and family always joke with me about how “I’m dead inside” and I even joke about it during those sentimental, touchy-feely moments where normal people would cry or tear up and go “oh, tear…”, LOL. Honestly, sometimes it’s not that I don’t want to cry, it’s just that I don’t.

I always find it funny how my mother, sister, even my oldest daughter can cry on command, when the sad, obviously, but also when they watch a movie that’s sad, or when it’s a happy occasion like a wedding. Me?! I feel the emotion and empathize, of course, but the tears never come. I’m just not that sensitive. And really, I don’t want to be. Personally, I feel so weak if I cry and I always hated those women who cry thinking they’ll get whatever they want and have people feel sorry for them. Consciously, I don’t like to show my emotions that much, except for anger (but that’s a topic for another day) and subconsciously I’ve never been much of a crier.

I don’t whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. My friend, who is pretty tough and rough around the edges herself even told me that she has a big cry-fest like every year, kind of just to let everything out and she always feels so much better afterwards?! I was shocked because I thought she was like me, a person who rarely ever cries. I do feel like I have a lot of emotions and thoughts pent up sometimes and often wonder if a crying would help, but alas, I really can’t make myself cry (short of getting some onions up under my nose or something). Even when I’m in pain I’m not one to cry it out, opting to hold it in and breathe through the pain (like I did delivering both my kids).

What about you? Do the slightest things set you off in tears or is anyone like me and doesn’t shed a tear at all?

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16 Responses to “Is It Wrong That I Don’t Cry?!”

  1. Magen Corrie

    Well, I’m not a big crier either . But if it is something that really touches me or I can really feel the emotions, I do become a blubbering idiot ha ha. But I do understand where you are going, a very good friend of mine is just like that, and we have discussed it a lot. I don’t think it’s wrong in anyway just who you are. My friend could watch one of the saddest movies ever, I’ll have a few tears in my eyes, but she won’t. But it isn’t like she’s emotionless, she does feel sad, just shows it differently. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all.
    I also hate women who use tears to make people feel sorry for them or to take advantage of others. I really enjoyed reading this post! It just shows that there are many different kinds of people, and many different ways we show our emotions. If you cry or don’t, it isn’t bad. Just who you are.
    Magen Corrie recently posted…Cover and Synopsis Reveal: The Witch’s Curse by David JamesMy Profile

    • Vivian

      Thanks for the words of encouragement. I def feel sad at times and can totally feel for others, but the tears don’t flow for me, although I know the ducts are working! LOL

  2. Amy @ Book Loving Mom

    I am a super sensitive person and I cry really easily, but it’s weird because when I am in pain or something I won’t cry. Give me a sad movie, tv show, or book and I am a sobbing mess though. I think it depends with me. I don’t like other people to see me cry so I won’t let myself, but if I am by myself, (or admittedly in a dark movie theater) I will cry if something is sad.
    I would never cry to try to get people to sympathize with me or get what I want though. I can’t stand people who do that or think it’s okay to do.
    I think it’s great that you don’t need to cry. People just have different ways of letting their emotions out and if you don’t feel the need to cry, there is nothing wrong with that. I think I just have overactive tear ducts. Lol!!!
    Amy @ Book Loving Mom recently posted…Review: Flawed by Kate AvelynnMy Profile

    • Vivian

      LOL, yea, I just never felt the urge to cry, even as a child I was pretty hard-headed and held my emotions in. Idk why I’m like that?!?! But as long as we’re both not one of those people who uses it as a tool, then we’re both good, haha. Thanks for sharing!

    • Vivian

      That’s good that you don’t use it as a tool, nothing wrong with a good cry here and there though. I think I might need it, but Idk if I’ll ever do it, lol.

  3. Southern Angel

    I have been both at one point or another in my life. I think sometimes we view that as a weakness, when what it is in reality is a cleansing for the soul. I think we tend to close off the threat by attempting to shelter ourselves from the true pain that can come with it. I think when you are ready you will cry, period.
    Southern Angel recently posted…Making new memories.. because life goes on..PYHOMy Profile

    • Vivian

      Yea, I know it’s a cleansing, that’s why I THINK I might need it, but can’t actually force myself to cry, lol. Idk what’s wrong with me! :-/

  4. Lena

    Girl, it’s an Asian thing (though your mother and sister and oldest daughter may be an exception). My mom NEVER cries. I honestly think the last time she cried was when I was 7 and my great grandmother died.

    The last time I cried was recently, when my fiance proposed to me, but that totally caught me off-guard. Other than that, I can’t really remember the last time I cried. I do, however, have tears when I’m laughing to hard. Does that count?! lol
    Lena recently posted…Waiting on WednesdayMy Profile

    • Vivian

      Whew, good to know I’m not alone! LOL, I totally laugh til I cry sometimes too, so at least I know my tear ducts DO work!

    • Vivian

      LOL, my mom, sister, & daughter cry very easily! That’s why they make fun of me for not crying at all!!! Idk, I just don’t have it in me!

  5. Fishgirl182

    I don’t really cry much either unless it’s something that involves my family (health issues, babies). not sure why. I think I just tend to keep it bottled up even though I think I am very empathetic and feel a lot. as I get older I do feel more emotional at times but I still don’t cry. my friends think it’s funny that I don’t cry at movies and stuff. hey, everyone is different.
    Fishgirl182 recently posted…Uncovered (43): Where’d You Go, BernadetteMy Profile

    • Vivian

      So happy to know it’s not just me. Yea, Idk if I need to cry to get it out of my system, but I just don’t have it in me to cry yet. Thanks for sharing!

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